5 Ways To Live In Harmony With People You Don't Like

By: Gabriel J. Adams

It can be difficult to be in the same room with people you don’t like, let alone live with them. However, there are many circumstances where we really have no choice in the matter, so we have to do our best get along with them or at least to avoid conflict.

Here are five tips to help you live in harmony with people you don’t like:

Stay away from topics where you have strongly different views and refuse to argue. If you take the view that you are entitled to your own opinion and do not need to defend it, and equally that the other person is entitled to their opinion, arguments can be avoided. There’s a lot to be said for avoiding discussions on sex, religion and politics.

Find areas of agreement or similarity and focus on them. Chances are, if you get to know someone a bit better, you will find areas of commonality. Look for common ground and be willing to notice positive things about another person. Everyone has good aspects to their personality. If you are willing to acknowledge the positive behaviors and attitudes of another person, they will be more likely to open up to you and respond positively.

Stay out of their way. Sometimes it is just not possible to be positive and keep trying to improve a relationship. Where this is the case the only answer is to be polite and respectful but live as separately as possible. This is particularly the case if the other person is abusive in any way or engaged in activities you don’t want to be associated with. The best way to live in harmony with these people is at a distance, smiling politely as you pass by.

Make clear agreements. If you are sharing living space with someone you don’t like, it is important to have a clear agreement about expected behaviors and responsibilities. Once the agreement is made and everyone clearly understands their own individual commitments, they need to abide by the agreement made. Doing this will help you to live in harmony with people even if you don’t like them.

Establish boundaries. Decide what treatment you are willing to accept from others and what you are not prepared to accept and put your boundaries clearly in place. While everyone needs to be flexible in this life, you need to clearly define the behaviors that you consider to be deal breakers and you must make sure that other people understand them. For example, someone stealing from you might be a deal breaker as might a person taking drugs in your home. In turn, you need to understand and respect the boundaries of others. The only proviso to this point is that people aren’t mind readers. It is unfair to blame others for violating boundaries they didn’t know anything about. We teach people how to treat us. So the first step is to respect yourself. Clearly defined boundaries can assist people who do not like one another to live together in harmony.

If you apply some or all of these keys to living in harmony with people you don’t like, you will avoid the stress of ongoing conflicts. You may even find yourself liking them after all.

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