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Once again the good ship United States slammed into a gigantic iceberg and is now resting at the bottom of the English Channel along with Peter Kessler. The guy found the perfect club but lost the perfect job to Vince Cellini. Johnny Miller mentioned Constantino Rocca’s miracle putt at the British Open to tie John Daly on 18 but he didn’t mention that Constantino then went on to beat Tiger at the Ryder Cup at Valderamma. Ever since Sarah Vardon put a voodoo curse on the American squad in Haiti 6 years ago the American Ryder Cup golfers have been skating upstream.The US got off to a shaky start when some unknown Irish newspaper trash talked the team by calling Elin Nordgren and Sonya Toms and Amy Mickelson “filth”. The Americans needed a Dennis Rodman or a John Daly to light a fire in the heads of the Euros by calling Heather Clarke “filth”. Instead the Americans handed the Ryder Cup on a platter to the Euros like Herod handed John the Baptist’s head on a silver platter to his daughter Salome at his filthy wife Herodius’ instigation. It was all downhill for the Americans from there. They looked like Jean Claude Killy or Jean Van de Velde shussing down the slopes of Grenoble as Steve Williams dipped his white surrender towel in the Atlantic Ocean before tumbling head first into the deep blue sea along with Tiger’s bag. It was a bad week for Kiwis and crocodiles all around but fortunately Fluff Cowan was also in the group and doubled for Furyk and Woods. On a lighter note Phil won his $5 nassau from Heinrik Stinsson although he did lose all of his matches. It’s going to be cigarette lighters for Phil from now on.
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Karen Fish is a writer currently living in Los Angeles California. The Temple of Love www.thetempleoflove.com/
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