Conquering Fear

By: Lisa Fredette

6 Emotional Phases of Divorce: The Healing Process

Phase One: Fear

I was married for sixteen years. My whole life revolved around my husband and my daughter. When my marriage fell apart, I did not have much of a support system in place. After the tears subsided somewhat and reality set in; I was what I feared most in my life, a divorced single mom. A gut wrenching feeling of fear set in.

Fear Defined

What is fear? Rhonda Britten author of Fearless Living defines fear as “… both the cause and effect of the feelings, thoughts, or actions that prohibit you from accepting yourself and realizing your full potential. It is the gate keeper of your comfort zone”. If you look at fear as an acronym, false evidence appearing real, it is much easier to face. If whatever it is that you are afraid of is really false then you can set it aside or move through it. Now doesn’t that make life seem simpler?

Facing One of Your Biggest Fears: Failure

The best way I have found to combat fear is to just face it head on and move through it. Many people are fearful of failure. I say define failure. Just because you do not achieve what you set out to, does it mean you failed or does it mean that you were just not meant to achieve that particular goal? When you are in a situation where you feel you failed, ask yourself what was it that I gained or learned? You can always learn from it, so in essence it can not be a failure then, can it?

If nothing else you should congratulate yourself for taking the risk. Many people are too paralyzed by fear that they are unwilling to take the risk. The fact that you took the risk is worthy of praise and admiration. If you are afraid to try something because you might fail, think about the worse case scenario then ask yourself; if I do this will I survive? Unless the worse case scenario is death, you can survive so just do-it; “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”.

A great story depicting this very thing can be found in Dale Carnegie’s book “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”. You will be amazed how great you feel for taking the risk.

If you want to learn more about dealing with fear I encourage you to sign up for the group coaching sessions that are beginning August 8, 2006. Contact me at coach@lisafredette.com for more details.

Challenging You!

So I challenge you to look fear in the face today and take a risk. You will be glad you did. You will be amazed how great you feel for taking the risk. What a self esteem builder and if nothing else it will give you a great story to tell your children, grandchildren or friends. If you take me up on my challenge and walk outside your comfort zone I would love to hear about your adventure, email me at coach@lisafredette.com.

Next Article: Phase 2 - Anger

Resources

Fearless Living: Live Without Excuses and Love Without Regret, by Rhonda Britten

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, by Dale Carnegie

Coaching Services:

I coach women who are transitioning from being someone’s spouse to being someone. I work with recently divorced women who want to take back control of their life and redefine their future.

Are you interested in discovering your true purpose in life? Are you interested in getting reacquainted with your best friend? Do you want to be excited about your future again?

If you answered yes to these questions, then contact me for a free sample session and begin the exciting journey called life!

Lisa A. Fredette, CTA Certified Coach
Personal Life Coach
Passionate About Life Coaching
814-781-1626 or 814-594-5817