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Here I address only some of the common emotional causes of what is termed sexual performance anxiety. Sexual performance anxiety is an emotional condition that is associated with feelings of anxiety or nervousness in love making situations, low sexual self confidence, feelings of inadequacy as a man, a fear of ejaculating prematurely, loss of ejaculatory control, feelings of guilt, depression and in the worst cases the avoidance of sex. Sexual identity and performance can be extremely sensitive to any overarching emotional issues that may be present. Some of the offending issues are: 1. Low self esteem, self worth, self confidence or self image from other causes. 2. A fear of an emotional or relational commitment to one's partner. 3. A fear of intimacy. 4. A fear of becoming overly dependent and/or submissive to one's partner. 5. Unconsciously perceiving one's partner as a dominating or needy "parental" figure. 6. Feelings of guilt relating to an ongoing or past affair that remains unresolved. 7. Being untruthful or holding back some hidden information about one's past with one's partner. 8. Feelings of inadequacy. 9. An inability to handle stresses outside the relationship that then unconsciously and physically intrudes into the love making situation. 10 A deep need to please your partner in the sexual context that places undue performance pressure on the man. 11. Presence of a mood disorder such as depression. And so on. One of the difficulties that many men have is a fear of addressing inner emotional issues as they have not been socialized to do so. This leaves them feeling trapped, helpless and even more inadequate. In such cases this problem can feed itself and leave an individual crippled sexually, emotionally and relationally. In recent years I have worked with individuals helping them nurture an awareness of and mastery over their internal emotional life in such a way that they later feel it to be one of their genuine strengths.
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