Ex-Family Reunion: Ponderings from an Ex-wife

I saw my ex-husband yesterday at my grandson's birthday party yesterday. I hadn't seen my ex since our daughter graduated college in 2005.

I have to admit it felt awkward to be in the presence of the man I lived with for 22 years. We had two children together, and both of them were at the celebration, so I don't understand my discomfort. Maybe it is distance between us now that makes us aware that we no longer know one another; maybe we never did.

He and I parted as friends six years ago, but only after a grueling divorce during which we both said some harsh and hurtful things to one another. Seeing him brings back many memories; some good, some not so good. But, even the sad memories don't hurt me anymore. They are part of my past, my history that makes me the person I am today.

The wounds have healed and we've both moved on with our lives. Both of us have remarried and even though I can't speak for him, I know I'm better off for leaving my first marriage. He seems happy with his new wife. Happy, yes, but he seemed to have a little sadness too. Maybe he felt awkward like me. I mean after all, we had planned to grow old together, not apart.

We still share in the landmark events of our children and grandchild, and we exchange an email every now and then, but we don't have much contact other otherwise. I wonder if we have anything besides our children in common. We've both changed in many ways. He has lost weight. I have gained some. He, the one I had to drag to prayer meeting, now regularly attends church. I hate to go through the doors of a church even for my step-granddaughter's pre-school program. He once hated cats. Now he has two of them. I finally got the chocolate Labrador I wanted all those years.

We both have a new place of belonging now, yet I still wonder if we ever belonged together to begin with.

I have no answers for my pondering questions. I don't suppose I need any. Maybe the answers are the peace I have inside.

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Yvonne Perry is a freelance writer and editor who assists clients with any type of writing project. Yvonne is available to assist you with telling your story or writing your book. Her podcast Writers in the Sky is filled with information about the craft and business of writing. See www.yvonneperry.net for more information about her writing services, books, writing classes, newsletter, podcast and blog. New subscribers to her f.ree monthly newsletter receive a complimentary eBook “Tips for Freelance Writing”.

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