God, My Business Associate?

"Richard, how in the world did you manage to get an acquittal on the fraud charges?"

We were sitting in the lovely lounge of the Leslie II, his 35 million dollar yacht, anchored in front of his 17-room seaside, 30 million dollar mansion in St. Johns, and had just finished a breakfast that could only be described as an event on the same level of quality as the boat and the house.

The former head of Health South, Richard Scrushy is of medium height, plain features and no outstanding physical attributes, except for his delicate fingers and the quickness with which he moves then to emphasize a point, show you a faraway object or massage them as if they were cold. They are the fingers of a card trick master, a deft pick pocket or an accomplished violin player.

"It was an act of God. At one point, God spoke in parables to me and hinted at a scenario that had strong reminiscences of the Last Supper and its sad message of betrayal and deceit. It made me realize that some of the people surrounding me would betray me"

"When did this happen? I mean the warning from God?"

"It must have been about five years ago. Mind you it was not a single message from God but several over a period of a year. God even identified those who were plotting and explained the systems they had devised to ruin our company and place the burden of the crime on my shoulders!"

"Were you aware that a fraud of the Enron magnitude, or even larger was being perpetrated?"

"Of course not! All along I felt that my team was showing incredible business perception and cunning. Their business decisions and their implementation and execution seemed impeccable; it was pure Harvard, Yale, Columbia and London Business School at their best!"

"But, Richard, a CEO of any company has to be aware of how the figures come together. If you double profits from one year to the next, you must know that something extraordinary has taken place"

"I do not for a minute deny my responsibility as CEO. Fortunately I had GOD‚s guidance and was able to maintain my own innocence in this entire sordid affaire. While they operated behind my back I was nevertheless aware of the diabolical techniques they employed"

"Such as?"

"The accounting fraud was cleverly engineered. You know, it is not easy to assign arbitrary values to assets, earnings, debt, etc. For one thing you have control mechanisms answering to accounting and auditing practices that are difficult to by pass. For instance, depreciation allowances allow you to introduce several factors that can modify accumulated values, long term status and other charges that can enable a change in the value of the assets. Here is where the IRS regulations become an unwitting partner"

"How is that?"

"The tax code is complex and at the same time ambiguous in a number of areas. By playing one regulation against another you can modify the factor you wish to apply. And this extends not only to assets but also to inventories, which is always a complex issue. The LIFO method can be substituted by a variety of valuations, same as receivables and payables. From there to overstating sales and income, revise costs and play around with production costs and expense parameters, plus generous allowances for contingencies, good will, emergency replacements and lost business accounts, you can do wonders with a balance sheet."

He stopped to light a Cohiba and continued:

"Alan Greenspan helped a great deal in this period by creating suspense with the dance of the interest rates and their effect on federal funds, credit lines, exports, etc. Not to mention President Bush‚s favorable tax benefits that carried with them an implicit suggestion to pay less and show more and keep even more under the mattress!"

"But Richard, the amounts that resulted from all this exceeded the value of the company and it is still not clear where all those billions of dollars went"

"Right! Here is where the overseas subsidiaries and their inflated capital, debt or investments allowed an increase in net worth through additional off shore investments, commitment to derivatives markets and creating special credit obsolescence pools."

"Richard, you seem to know more about the process than you allowed during the hearings. It sounds as if you knew even more than those financial experts that allegedly accused you of leading the parade!"

He looked at me with a bit of concern in his eyes. It seemed that he realized that he had talked too much. His concern deepened when I asked:

"But why did you not blow the whistle? As the CEO of the company you were responsible for the financial health of Health South!"

"Are you crazy? I could not divulge the fact that all along God had unveiled the perpetrators of a crime of fraud, deceit and corporate corruption involving several billion dollars. Legally, it would make God an accomplice of the crime."

He stopped to measure his words and in a tone dripping contrition and piety, added:

"How could I do that to Him?"

Article Source: http://www.content.onlypunjab.com

Chemical engineer by training, international executive by merit and writer by addiction. Former syndicated columnist of Technology columns, has written for television and movies. His humorous articles contain fine satire and have been published in 4 languages. Quote: "Love and smiles teach tolerance; days without either are days wasted."

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