Home | Self Improvement | Happiness
Can we really be happy—more importantly, can we really be happy in love? One expert says yes (or at least we can be happier if we want to be) and yes (with some conscious effort).Known as the father of Positive Psychology and Director of the University of Pennsylvania Positive Psychology Center, Martin Seligman has done significant research on happiness. To that end, he recommends practicing your signature strengths everyday and conveniently offers a free tool to help you learn what those are[1].Seligman’s formulation for the good life is “using your signature strengths every day in the main realms of your life.” His research shows that by focusing on your strengths rather than your weaknesses in work, love and parenting—you can enjoy “abundant gratification and authentic happiness.”But how do you go about pursuing your good life when there are two of you—and each of you has unique signature strengths?For one thing, it’s likely that you fell in love with each other based on your strengths. With time, however, those strengths can be taken for granted or in other ways lose their glow.John Gottman, professor at the University of Washington in Seattle and co-director of the Gottman Institute[2] has done a lot of research with couples. He claims that he can predict in advance which couples will divorce and which will have a marriage that actually gets better with time.Growing the GlowResearch shows that couples who whose marriage improves with time spend five extra hours a week in these activities:- Goodbyes every morning (2 minutes x 5)- Low-stress reunion conversations when they meet up again (20 minutes x 5)- Lots of touching, holding and kissing laced with tenderness and forgiveness (5 minutes x 7)- One weekly date with just the two of you in a relaxed atmosphere (2 hours)- Daily doses of genuine admiration and appreciation (5 minutes x 7).Below is an exercise for fanning the embers and building the strength of your relationship. Try it as part of your Valentine's Day celebration.Fondness Exercise This exercise lets your loved one know that he or she is one of a kind in your eyes. Simply think of the top three strengths that most impressed you when you fell in love or woke up this morning. Write each strength below. Then write a recent admirable incident in which he or she displayed this strength. Give this to your loved one—asking him or her to do the same for you.1. Strength_______________Incident:2. Strength______________Incident:3. Strength_______________Incident:Reenergize the admiration and affection that brought you together and have a Happy Valentine's Day everyday!____________________________[1] Visit www.authentichappiness.com and look for the VIA Signature Strengths Questionnaire. It requires about 30 minutes to answer the 240 questions. You’ll get a prioritized list of 24 strengths. The top five strengths are your signature strengths.[2] www.gottman.comPublisher Express Harmonies is a newsletter offering proven ideas for being all you can be in your life. It is written and edited by Beth Bradfish, coach and consultant (member of International Coach Federation) who works with women and men to help them create the unique harmony of their lives. For more information contact Beth Bradfish at info@bethbradfish.com or visit bethbradfish.com for more information. The names of newsletter subscribers will never be shared or sold. Articles from this newsletter may ONLY be reprinted with full acknowledgment. To contribute news and ideas, sponsor a monthly issue, subscribe or unsubscribe please e-mail info@bethbradfish.com.
Article Source: http://www.content.onlypunjab.com
Beth Bradfish has been helping clients define and realize their goals for more than 20 years. She provides private coaching for professionals in the areas of career success, writing, and personal development. Beth is a member of the International Coaching Federation and the American Society of Training and Development. www.gottman.com
Please Rate this Article
5 out of 54 out of 53 out of 52 out of 51 out of 5
Not yet Rated
