How Much Time Do You Need With Your Partner For A Healthy Relationship

A while back, I read a study that stated that - the average couple spends less than 26 minutes a week in one-on-one personal intimate dialogue. If this is anywhere near accurate, it is a sad commentary on the quality of today’s relationships. (Keep in mind this time was quiet time when not: having sex, having dinner with the kids, shopping, working in the yard or whatever. It was dedicated - let’s talk time about - plans, dreams, challenges, feelings, goals, needs, wants.)

You can’t build a positive, nurturing, loving and lasting relationship on 26 hours of shared time a year. It is even hard to build a real, solid, nurturing and long lasting friendship and intimate relationship with ten times this amount of time.

How is your relationship doing? Are you spending more than 1 hour a week (keep in mind even at an hour a week that’s only 52 hours a year.) in personal, intimate, real and vulnerable sharing with your significant other or less than the average of 26 minutes? If not why not?

Here are some of the common reasons why not:


1. You have no time.
2. You are to busy.
3. One or both of you travel too much.
4. You don’t your partner.
5. It’s not a safe environment to be vulnerable.
6. The other person doesn’t care about your feelings, needs, interests, concerns.
7. One or both of you don’t listen.
8. There is an ego battle going on.
9. There are too many kids.
10. One or both of you have too many friends.
11. One or both of you have too many outside interests.
12. Work is too demanding for one or both of you.
13. The relationship has ended but no one will admit it.
14. You have crossed over the line from caring to not caring anymore.
15. One or both of you is an invalidator. (read my book Nit-Pickers and Naggers)


Are your reasons listed above? If so why not take some time and evaluate them in more detail. If you can’t do it with your significant other for any of the above reasons, then at least do it alone and come up with your own reasons or causes and what can be done about them.

Remember in all life situations you have three choices; change them, accept them or leave (Read my book The Road To Happiness is Full of Potholes.)

Relationships that work have shared understanding, feelings, unconditional acceptance and a genuine desire for the other person to become all they can be. Relationships that tend not to work have any number of psychological games, manipulation, ego control, emotional immaturity and selfishness going on.

There are couples who spend very little time together and have wonderful relationships. For them it isn’t the amount of time they have but what they put into the time. These relationships are also uncommon. Time is a factor for most of us. We need time to understand, learn, grow, accept and love. These don’t come easily or instantly.

Article Source: http://www.content.onlypunjab.com

Tim Connor, CSP is an internationally renowned sales, management and leadership speaker, trainer and best selling author. Since 1981 he has given over 3500 presentations in 21 countries on a variety of sales, management, leadership and relationship topics. He is the best selling author of over 60 books including; Soft Sell, That’s Life, Peace Of Mind, 81 Challenges Managers Face and Your First Year In Sales. He can be reached at tim@timconnor.com, 704-895-1230 or visit his website at www.timconnor.com.

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