It Is Hard To Work And Have Children

By: Eric Hartwell

When my children were little I was able to stay at home and was able to spent a lot of time with my boys. We were able to play with friends, attend toddler groups, gym clubs as and when it suited us and without the pressure of what do I do if one or both was under the weather or something unexpected came up. Then I managed to find work that allowed met to continue being at home but allowed me to earn a wage as well. Things then became a little more complicated as you have responsibilities to those who employ you. They expect you to be fully committed to their needs and requests and have no real interest in the fact that you are working from home so you can be with your children. For the customer this is totally irrelevant. So a certain amount of juggling was necessary. I then had a change of direction and was offered a place at university and studied for a degree full time.

The business I was still trying to run was getting less and less attention so was disbanded in the second year of study. I could not manage that as well as the children and studying. On leaving university I started full time work and then it hit me how hard it was going to be putting work before the children. I had had it so easy up until then. I had always been able to turn up for assemblies, nativity plays and sports days. Now I would have to consider those who I worked with and realise we could not all have half term off or three weeks in the school summer holidays. Time off would have to be booked in advance, I would have to take valuable holiday time off for school events or in some cases explain to the children that Grandma or Aunty will be there but not me.

I try to work hard and I am very reluctant to take time off if at all possible even if I am Ill. However early on in my new job I found it very difficult missing my children doing their bit in a school activity and I have cried often. When I tried to explain the changes to my elder son he was quite upset, even though I explained he had been luckier than some of his friends who’s parents had always worked but he said “ yes but I am used to having you there.” Some parents have the choice to work made for them, if they cannot afford to stay at home. Others choose to work, to climb a career pathway or to keep independence, but for a child that decision impacts on their early life, and although they may benefit financially, nice clothes, nice holidays ad the rest, I believe there is nothing worse than seeing a child at sports day or during a long rehearsed nativity looking longingly for mum or dad and knowing they are not coming. This will sound hard on those who have no choice but to work but I understand how very difficult it is to be pulled in two directions. A child’s early life is fleeting and is where a lot of their memories are made. So whichever decision you make or is made for you, we have to try very hard to balance work and family time and make good use of our free time with our children.

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