Journeying Towards Success

By: Philip Callaghan

It’s that time of year again, where many are striving (and often struggling) to achieve their New Year’s Resolutions. And the news is not good. 99% of New Year’s Resolutions fall flat within weeks. And it’s easy to see why.

The common choices people make are to:

Give up something they like.
Take up something they don’t normally enjoy.

It’s not difficult to see why these choices fail most of the time. In the first case, they’re trying to move away from pleasure and in the second, they’re trying to move towards discomfort and pain!

In either case, it’s a step in the wrong direction. Enough said.

It’s often not enough to know what you want and go for it. In addition to knowing what you want, a plan of action has two vital aspects, both of which must be sufficiently appealing.

They are the journey and the destination.

Most people only look at the destination when deciding if they want something. I’ve run into this issue time and again when coaching people for success.

Let me give you an example. As part of their life balance, many people want to improve their health and vitality. So they imagine the desired destination - they picture themselves being fit and healthy.

Do they want that? You bet they do! Yet that, by itself, probably won’t get them there. Why not? Read on.

So I have them think about how they imagine they’re going to get there. Usually at this point, they imagine spending a lot of time in the gym and eating ‘healthy’ food.

Do they want that? Hell, no! Are they likely to get there? Not that way. So they have to generate more choices.

Your level of enjoyment of both journey and destination form a ‘desire matrix’ which is given here:

http://www.resourcefulchange.co.uk/images/desire_matrix.gif

The previous example fits in the category of “Unfulfilled Dreams”. This applies to every unpleasant journey which has a great reward.

It’s occasionally possible to struggle through to the reward, though few people achieve their dreams that way.

Sometimes, the journey is more enjoyable than the final destination. This is true of frivolous activities and diversions. Often the ‘thrill of the chase’ drives things forward, while the final result is unsatisfactory.

If you enjoy neither the journey, nor the destination then you’d be in for an unrewarding struggle. Some people actually pattern their lives this way! They do unpleasant work for a reward they don’t want as they’ve been socially conditioned to do so.

Make sure your desires are your own or that’s where you might end up.

Lastly the ideal - doing something that you enjoy, which leads to a satisfying reward or achievement.

Have you ever known someone who is passionate about their work and driven to achieve? They may work hard, though it doesn’t seem like hard work to them because it’s fun or challenging.

They want both journey and destination - and how much easier does that make it to do great things?

So make sure you want both the journey and the destination. If your common activities fall into any area other than ‘Enjoyable Achievement’, the services of a good coach can help.

If you want to be able to achieve your dreams by finding a more enjoyable journey, then read on.

The Value Of Success

Very often, what we think we want is just a symptom of a deeper need. So why just aim for surface satisfaction, when you can be deeply satisfied instead?

In NLP, deeper needs of this sort are referred to as ‘values’. They are the needs behind our surface desires that fill our achievements with purpose.

It takes a little bit of effort to bring your values to conscious awareness, though it is extremely worthwhile in the long run.

Let me give you an example to illustrate what I mean.

Suppose I want £10,000. There are several ways I could get that - some easier or less time-consuming than others.

However, what’s important about that £10,000 to me? Suppose it’s about keeping a roof over my head and putting food on the table. Fair enough. Now, if I were able to keep a roof over my head and put food on the table, what would that give me?

In that instance, that would give me security. That’s the value behind the apparent need. So the need is not really for £10,000. It’s for greater security. Given that there are more ways of having greater security - and some of those are easier or more fun than the routes to the money, the options for a more pleasant journey have just opened up.

Here’s how to use that process to build a more rewarding journey for yourself.

Exercise: Pathways of Success

What thing do you want in your life?
What’s important about having that?
And if you had that, what would it give you

Repeat steps 2 and 3 until you get the value behind the goal.

Mentally picture that value in the distance and imagine a set of paths connecting you to it.

Just draw several paths in and let your mind take care of the details. Each might have a distinctive appearance.

Notice what is involved in each path and what happens on the way to success.

Now allow your unconscious mind to choose and highlight one path in the understanding that this is currently the best route to your goal.

In your mind, move forward along that path, gathering information about what is involved. Check and make sure that it’s okay.

You might only get a sense of gathering information. The test would then be - does it feel okay to choose that path?

To summarise: Make sure you enjoy both the journey and the destination in everything you aim for.

Choose to aim for deeper fulfilment through satisfying your values and you’ll go a lot further than you had dreamed.

In any event, enjoy discovering your values and you will add an extra sense of purpose to your life.

Article Source: http://www.content.onlypunjab.com

About The Author:
Philip Callaghan is an NLP Trainer and Coach who has been working full time with private clients for several years. He is a Licensed Master Practitioner and Trainer of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and a member of the International Association of Coaches.
Visit Phil's website www.resourcefulchange.co.uk/ for further articles.
Get info about Phil's upcoming book at www.goal-mastery.com/
Philip Callaghan - Our Articles Expert Author

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