Kick Porn: 5 Simple Ways

By: Tess Marshall

Today porn addiction has become the "new elephant in the living room." Nobody talks about it! It is being ignored, hidden and denied by family members. There are over 40 million people addicted to pornography. Porn is easily accessible and it allows one to remain anonymous. With a computer and Internet access it's available twenty-four hours a day.

Porn is a thief of dignity, time, creativity, talent, and money. Porn users neglect family, work and social activities due to increasing time online pursuing pornography and cybersex. The addiction will erode one's mental, spiritual and emotional wellbeing.

Al
"At first I used to porn too relax but eventually I was spending so much time online I wouldn't take time to do my chores, bring the kids to ball practice, or read to them before bedtime.

If my wife walked in on me I would quickly hide what I had on the screen. She never liked sex. I often told her she was too fat. I told her, "all men look at porn, it's not a big deal." At least I wasn't sleeping with anyone.

Sally
"I kept promising myself I would never look at porn again. But I would stress out at my new job as CFO, back-to-back soccer games, and helping the kids do homework. I was physically and emotionally spent.

Since my divorce I had been going the extra mile with the kids to make up for the absence of their father. Later at night after the kids were asleep I would pour myself a glass of wine and surf for porn to avoid loneliness and depression. Later I would cry myself to sleep feeling more self-hatred, shame and alone than before."

Everyday 40 million people experience the same pain as Al and Sally. Studies have proven that viewing pornography can be as mood altering and have the same effect on the brain as narcotic drugs. A chemical in the brain, epinephrine "burns" images of porn permanently into the memory at cellular level, images can easily be remembered and triggered by a word, a display in the mall, or the sight of a woman at the grocery store or a newsstand.

Many addicts surf for porn at work. Most begin to isolate from friends and colleagues. Interests and hobbies go by the wayside. Addicts live in fear of being found out. They stress over living a secret life. No matter how many times a promise is made to stop; quitting becomes impossible.

Who is addicted?

Anyone with a computer, a cell phone or a PDA with Internet access has the opportunity to become addicted to porn. Porn addicts are both male and female and come from all walks of life. Porn addicts suffer extreme emotional pain due to painful unresolved trauma.

Ask yourself about porn, "Can I take it or leave it? Am I obsessed? Has it caused problems in my life? Do I continue with the behavior in spite of my problems?"

Next, go thirty days without looking at porn on or off line. If you really don't care about it and don't have a need to use it, if you find yourself rarely thinking about it—then you are probably not addicted.

Treatment is similar for all addictions. Addicts must admit they have a problem and take 100% responsibility for their lives. Recovery from porn addiction has to be a number one priority.

1.Abstinence

Total and complete abstinence from porn is necessary. You will have to clean house. Delete and destroy everything that has to do with your addiction on line and off. Eliminate cable television. Direct your phone company to block area code 900 numbers.

2. Accountability Partners

It is necessary to have a few accountability partners. Choose wise, mature and non-addicted partners. Give them permission to confront you about your porn use.

3.Therapy

Find an experienced therapist that will help you heal your childhood wounds, trauma and addictive behavior. You will discover how to become comfortable with genuine intimacy and loving relationships.

4. Join a support group

Isolation keeps you stuck. You can't heal by yourself. Support groups have been proven to work. You will find acceptance, support and comfort.

5.Becoming Intimate

In your primary relationships learn to give and receive support and affection. Express feelings, needs and share problems. Intimacy isn't about sex, it's about love.

Other important tools for treatment are learning how to cope with cravings, forgive, refocus, communicate, live a balanced life and connect from the heart.

You have the power to create healthy intimate relationships with family and friends. Thomas Henry Huxley said, "Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not."

Tess Marshall has a master's degree in counseling psychology and has helped hundreds of people change their lives and live in freedom from addiction.