Political Correctness Gone Mad: Part 1

I can’t buy Spotted Dick any more. It’s offensive, they say. Don’t know why, as it contains dead animal produce, which apparently is not offensive, E numbers that don’t offend, grease, lard, currants. Especially currants. Can currants really offend me.

But no. It’s the name that offends, isn't it? Spotted? Is this offensive maybe to wayward youths, riddled with acne, or does it refer to their being spotted in the throes of mugging some old lady, for her weekly pension money? Ooops, that’s not politically correct is it?

Then it has to be the Dick part of the name which is offensive. Again, surprising, according to my mate Richard – or Dick, as we call him; he hasn’t been accosted by the Thought Police yet, for uttering his shortened name when being introduced to ladies called Fanny.

Maybe it’s just me. Maybe that blackboard really is a chalkboard, and Blackpool really is Holiday Town. I certainly know that Christmas in Birmingham is Winterville, and cards contain pictures of tractors instead of the politically-incorrect Christian symbols. I wish to God – oops, sorry – that we could revert to Olde Worlde traditions and tell the PC Brigade to get stuffed – sorry, that’s offensive to turkeys.

But you know what I mean. Erosion of common sense prevails, and simple Simons – sorry, Simon, I’m so un-PC today - sit behind mahogany – can I say that? – desks, with squirting fountain pens in hand – sorry, that is so laden with sexual references, isn’t it? – and scribble crazy – apologies to people in mental homes – laws that have absolutely no bearing on reality at all.

Article Source: http://www.content.onlypunjab.com

Discuss issues and add opinions at the worlds best home page

Please Rate this Article

5 out of 54 out of 53 out of 52 out of 51 out of 5 

Not yet Rated