Separation and Divorce - Advice for Staying Sane

You may find your divorce relatively stress-free, if you are undergoing a completely amicable separation or divorce, where there are no children involved, and there is complete agreement on both sides respecting the division of assets. However, where there are disputes regarding child custody or support, spousal support and/or the division of assets, separation and divorce are likely to be extremely stressful events. In addition to the stress regarding the resolution of the above issues, there may also be stress manifested from other factors which may come into play: your extended family may be conflicted over the situation, your own friends may feel uncomfortable with you in familiar social settings, your financial situation may become unstable and so on.

If you have a stable, long-term position with extended benefits, you may be able to take a paid stress-leave. For those women that cannot take a break from their usual responsibilities for work, child-rearing and more, there are nonetheless certain steps that can be undertaken to help lower your level of stress, so that you can keep your sanity during a difficult divorce or separation.

1. Set the intention to take a short "time out" each day to sit quietly. During this quiet time, inform your mind that you are the master of your own destiny, (even if you don't quite believe it). Envision your future in the manner that you desire.

2. Spending time worrying about undesirable outcomes is understandable, but it is a futile exercise. When you start to roll over negative thoughts in your head, recognize that the worry is hurting you, and it's not helping to resolve any problems.

3. If you are concerned about specific issues, jot them down into a "worry journal" and concentrate on releasing the thoughts until you can discuss them with an appropriate professional, or a competent and trustworthy friend.

4. Find something that makes you happy, whether it is a favorite song, or a picture (the "mood-shifter"). When you start to feel sad thoughts creeping into your consciousness, make a concerted effort to shift your mood by thinking of the mood shifter.

5. If you find yourself getting angry over your situation, use this emotion in a positive fashion. Anger can be used constructively, to give a person the motivation and initiative necessary to accomplish incredible tasks. Conversely, if allowed to expand without constraint, anger can destroy a person. Keep your negative emotions harnessed, but realize that they can be powerful tools for helping you to overcome incredible odds.

6. To re-gain a sense of control in your life, start setting a daily goal, which is small, simple and easy to attain. Accomplishing this goal will give you a sense of pride, and as you slowly increase the size and complexity of your goal, you will re-gain your sense of control over your life that is otherwise being robbed by the uncertainty of your situation.

7. Become educated on the legal process of separation and divorce, in your locale. If consultations with your family lawyer are cost-prohibitive, ask the family law division of the Court in your locale, for free, easy-to-understand, and informational resources, for this purpose.

8. Accept the fact that, at times, your stress may be difficult to manage, and you may become emotional, however, also remember that the passage of time will make the situation better.

9. Connect with other persons who are undergoing similar divorce or separation experiences.

If your situation is making your work or personal life impossible to manage or is seriously interfering with your ability to work, or care for your family, consider consulting a specialist.

Article Source: http://www.content.onlypunjab.com

Terri Mann is a divorced lawyer and is the founder of www.womandivorcesupport.com where divorced or separated women can find free divorce articles about life after divorce and more.

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