Staying Happy Being Single, or in Double Trouble

Be Happy -- some keys to staying happy regardless.

If you are single, or in a struggling relationship, try not to take it personally. There are so many factors that come into play to cause singledom to outlast its welcome, and there are so many factors that cause our relationships to come unstuck that to take it personally, in fact, just makes it all worse.

The key here is happiness. Your happiness must rise above the experiences of everyday life, and you cannot be happy while you are taking life’s ups and downs personally. If you take things personally you’ll start to compensate and compensation usually causes us to over react. We have enough to deal with without over reacting.

How do you make your happiness rise above the experiences of life? There are some well kept secrets and this article aims to share them.

The first and most important key is posture. I know that is corny but just look around and you’ll see that the people we think are happy, have great posture. Shoulders back, neck long, no slouch and certainly no overhang on the belly. This is why Yoga is a wonderful asset. Really, if you can change your posture, you can change your life. All of my retreats include a very significant emphasis on posture. Just watch the academy awards, even the older actors imitate the younger ones by holding their shoulders back, their neck long and their tummy in.

The second key to rising above the challenges and experiences of life is breathing. We do this automatically, and if we stop we are certainly not happy, but there is good breathing and there is not good breathing. It’s a matter of choice. Good breathing means a long inhalation, and a relaxed, somewhat shorter exhalation around a ratio of five counts in 3 counts out. This breathing keeps you vigilant, alive and energized under any circumstance/

The third key, is your environment. The space we hang out in affects us more than anything else in the outside world. So, to rise above the experience of environments we can’t change right now, we can simply change the way we see things. In nature, a fallen tree might be considered by some as a great shame and loss. But to nature, this fallen tree is a thing of beauty. It’s role is magnificent, powerful, beautiful in the sustained preservation of habitat and balance. Look for balance in all situations, in all environments there is something beautiful you can focus your mind on. Even in the most pristine places there are negative affects. Just swing your mind from what you want to change, to what you can enjoy.

The fourth key is a bit of mind math. Sorry for those who failed math at school, but this is quite helpful. It suggests that what goes up, must come down, and what goes down, must come up. Patience in Buddhism is described as the ability to say no. And this is the math. When there is trouble it will eventually dissolve into happiness. All you need to do is not react. There are many bad examples of this. The struggling relationship that goes into therapy is a classical one, or the single individual who ends up in an ashram in Nepal trying to find themselves, or the business person who just works harder because they are single and want to get more ready for a relationship. These are reactions that typically result in negative growth.

The fifth and final key is, slow down. During times of challenge we need to remain busy, occupied and purposeful. Slothing out in front of the TV with a coke and packet of chips seems to be a great solution but the long term affect on self esteem is a disaster. Stay occupied productively, but not frenetic. Try to avoid alcohol altogether, join a gym or yoga class, write a book on dogs or cats, take photos, learn a new skill, hold your head up in pride that you are doing something and don’t be invested in the results of your activities, be invested in the beauty of doing it.

Happiness is natural, but in our modern world it is becoming a privilege for the few. Stay away from negative environments, hold a good mindset and stay upright. The first weeks or months can be confronting, just be patient. Happiness after all is what motivates people to be in relationships. If you are not a happy person, then the odds of someone wanting to stay or be with you just slipped a few notches.

Live with Spirit and Love

Article Source: http://www.content.onlypunjab.com

Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris’s work and journeys to Nepal, visit www.chriswalker.com.au

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