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Unless you know the difference between fear and a phobia, you could be destined for a mediocre existence. So here's what distinguishes the two. Imagine crossing the highway and, suddenly, there is a squeal of brakes and a honking of the loudest truck horn you have ever heard! In a split second, you realize you have failed to see that giant Kenworth truck now just yards from you! In a further split second a tremendous discharge of adrenaline courses through your arteries and you leap clear of certain death! That's fear -- real fear, and is an essential part of our in-built safety mechanism. It's an immediate response to danger. Once the danger is past, the fear disappears. But phobias are entirely different. A phobia is a form of fear, always lurking in the background of our mind. It is an irrational fear -- although it can be something quite understandable, such as fear of spiders or dogs. If you were hypnotized it would probably transpire you experienced something in your past life -- such as being bitten by a dog -- that still makes you fear a similar situation, although the details of this earlier experience are long forgotten. It's exactly the same with the almost universal fear of failure, which is the major cause of our never reaching our full potential for success and happiness. When you were born, you were a blank canvas, with no thought of failure or success. You approached every new experience with maximum enthusiasm, eager to learn all you could about this wonderful world you found yourself in. Boy, did you learn fast! But you soon found out that doing certain things, such as touching the hot stove or eating coal, was a bad idea. But making mistakes did not curb your enthusiasm for making fresh discoveries. Think how many times you fell down, when learning to walk. But did you give up? Of course not. From a standing start you learnt to walk in about a year and were saying your first words not long after. That's an amazing learning curve! Unfortunately, your parents -- with the best intentions in the world -- had to provide certain restrictions to your behavior -- particularly when you started to walk. These were a vital part of keeping you safe, but unfortunately they could well have registered as negative experiences deep in your psyche -- just as being bitten by a dog would give you a life long phobia of dogs. Yet consider the completely faulty logic of such a situation. ". This animal is a dog and I was once bitten by a dog. Therefore, this dog is going to bite me.". And, just like the long forgotten reason why you have a phobia about dogs or spiders, you have also forgotten the reason why you fear failure, or feel you are not as valuable, good looking or intelligent as everyone else. This depends on the extent to which you were denigrated by your teachers, relatives, and peers. Being told you are "stupid" or "ugly" isn't just a temporary sting, it embeds deep in your subconscious, which accepts the rebuke as fact. The younger you are, the more effect this has. Up to the age of seven is a critical time, because our personalities and our perceptions of the world are developing. After the age of seven they are pretty much set for life -- unless you take conscious steps to reprogram your attitude to your phobias. Fortunately, you can use the very same uncritical facility of your subconscious mind to tell yourself that you are, in fact, quite amazing. Because it is quite true. Every human being is a miracle inside a miracle and each brings their unique talents and insights to the sum total of human endeavor. Stop and think for a moment, because deep down you know this to be true. So why should you take the word of some jealous child who called you stupid, when you were both about five years old? Do you realize such an irrational fear of being somehow second rate is the only thing standing between you and achieving everything you want from your life. Here's a quotation from novelist Thomas Hardy. Memorize it until you can recall it in an instant. " I consider a reprimand from you to be like a compliment from someone of real judgement.". Then, the next time you doubt your ability to achieve something, take a slow, deep breath and remember you are a miracle inside a miracle. Then repeat that quotation from Thomas Hardy, whilst recalling all the little people who vainly sought to belittle you in the past. And then go out there and show them all they were dead wrong! Copyright 2006 Paul Hooper-Kelly and www.HowToMakeYourOwnLuck.com
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Paul Hooper-Kelly owns www.HowToMakeYourOwnLuck.com and uses his sixty years of business and life success to help ordinary people create extraordinary lives.Get your copy of his popular course "Seventeen Secrets To Success" whilst it's still free Seventeen_Secrets_Of_Success
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