The Hidden Power Of Compromise

Desire is good; yes? If greed is good, according to Wall Street and Michael Douglas, then desire must be good as well. Desire, greed avarice, hatred – maybe they are all good in this era of the ends justifying the means regardless of what those means are. What harm can come from sticking to our guns and digging in our heels and never compromising? Never say that you are sorry, right? Or say that you are wrong. It shows weakness.

This is exactly where many of us are right now, afraid to bend whatever principles we feel necessary to survive in a pond that is shrinking exponentially. We are petrified, and when fear rules, the rules are no longer feared. So here we are, pushing it all to a limit where the boundaries are yet to be set, but when the boundaries are established and we become restrained in our desires, what do we do with our fear then? We will be trapped.

Compromise is a mature action taken by those who understand desire and the results of desire. Desire is the cause of all suffering, according to a very wise man; the Buddha and his First Noble Truth. If you don’t think that this is true, try to recall what it is that you have desired, accomplished, and that has made you forever happy. There is no such thing. The nature of the universe is to constantly change, and no matter how tightly we hold on, it all eventually slips through our fingers like water. Then we must desire something anew.

If the desire is very strong, we find ourselves doing extraordinary things to get whatever it is that we cannot live without, only to see our accomplishments fade from existence a short time later. How long does it take for a car to go out of style? Three years, five years? But when it is sitting in that showroom, it seems eternal!

Those willing to compromise understand all of this. Those who don’t are still like children escaping into fantasies of being happy forever and ever. Those who compromise see the other point of view, which takes courage, and they do what’s best for all. Those who dig in their heels are merely reacting from fear; fear that they won’t get their way. What they don’t realize is that they will never be happy.

Happiness depends upon something quite different from getting what we want; happiness depends upon letting go, not accumulating. Happiness depends on decrease, not increase. Happiness depends on the dismantling of self, not the building of an ego that then must be constantly shored up. Just look at the people of the past with arrogant egos – what is their legacy? When did you learn the most about yourself – when things were going swimmingly – or when you were down and out?

This is unintelligible for those still caught in illusions, but those who understand will compromise every time. Compromise lowers the expectations of ego and takes the pressure off; losing is winning; winning is losing, and compromise in the end will bring happiness all around. Opposite poles repel, it is in the middle of the field that the game is played. The Buddha called compromise the Middle Way, far from the opposite poles where ego builds itself.

If you find it impossible to compromise your opinions, which are only opinions, never Truth, then get to the bottom of those strong opinions and see where the fear lies. Courageous people seldom have strong opinions; they have guts to step away from their opinions and consider other viewpoints. They are the progressives that move society forward from darkness into brightness, opposed to the ones who hold tight and sink into the morass of yesterdays. Desire, greed, avarice, hatred – these are the characteristics of yesterdays. These have fashioned our disparities that have caused so much conflict and resulting wars. Look around and see who you can trust, even in our own country. Look at the state of affairs in the world. It is getting more violent by the minute. And if you believe that it’s all “their” fault, well . . .

We think that if only everyone would believe as we do and do what we do, everything would be fine, but look in our own backyards; the poor are more and more on their own. An atmosphere is developing that if you can’t take care of yourself, good luck. If you are old, weak, or dumb, then you are a drag on the economy. We ignore street people now, look away when we see them, how soon will it be until we look away from our elderly? They are certainly a drag on our wealth with their health care problems and their non-productivity. We are beginning to ignore anyone who is not young, intelligent, energetic, and connected. It’s becoming a dog-eat-dog world, and we are responsible. The world is us, we make the world in every one of our actions. To blame anyone but ourselves is the height of hypocrisy and conceit. And it all comes down to giving in, compromise, the act of bruising our inflated egos.

Some will never compromise. Some will never compromise their standard of living to help others. It’s their way or the highway. Can you see the fear and hatred in this attitude? To these people, helping others is for suckers. Saying that you are sorry or wrong is for suckers, too. Everyone is a sucker but them – see the trend?

The problem is; someday (hello karma!) the ones who are selfish will be in the other’s shoes, and it will be traumatic. But the ones who compromise, the ones whose fear and desires are not out of control, these are the ones contented with life. Look around; take a moment to see what we are doing. That’s all that’s required – a good look at the life that we are creating for one another. None of us are isolated, whatever we do will come back on us ten times over, good or bad.

So let’s all compromise and be peaceful. It will be good for everyone. The hidden power of compromise is the fact that compromise has nothing to do with power, and everything to do with unconditional love.

But, of course, love is for suckers, too!

Copyright © E. Raymond Rock 2007. All rights reserved

Article Source: http://www.content.onlypunjab.com

E. Raymond Rock of Fort Myers, Florida is cofounder and principal teacher at the Southwest Florida Insight Center, www.SouthwestFloridaInsightCenter.com His twenty-eight years of meditation experience has taken him across four continents, including two stopovers in Thailand where he practiced in the remote northeast forests as an ordained Theravada Buddhist monk. His book, A Year to Enlightenment (Career Press/New Page Books) is now available at major bookstores and online retailers. Visit www.AYearToEnlightenment.com

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