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A few weeks ago in my weekly relationship tip, I asked my subscribers to consider some self development relationship questions. I received a number of responses – people asking me my opinion of the necessary traits of successful relationships. So here they are and in no particular order of importance.- The ability to get past the infatuation stage quickly.- Realistically managing your expectations of your partner.- Continuing to work on your own self-esteem.- Letting go of old baggage at least once a week.- Having a similar life outlook.- The willingness to accept that there are other ways of looking at things than your own.- Staying focused on what is right, positive and good about your relationship.- Maintaining your own identity.- Taking responsibility for your share of the relationship successes as well as issues.- Keeping you ego out of the relationship entirely.- Not seeing the behaviors of your partner that you don’t like as faults.- Not invalidating your partner in any way either in public or private.- Avoiding emotional game playing.- Having a safe emotional environment.- Keeping the romance alive.- Having some common goals.- Being able to talk about money issues without getting defensive or in a blame mode.- Spending adequate time together.- The ability to have honest, open and vulnerable sharing of feelings, needs, fears, dreams, hopes and frustrations.- Having a sex life that is fulfilling and satisfying.- Doing something fun together at least once a week.- Similar spiritual values.- Managing differences in a positive way.- Maintaining a high level of trust and respect.I will guarantee that you can add an item or two to this list. It is by all means not the end all in successful relationship traits or behaviors. But it is a start. If you have most of these I’ll guarantee you are well on your way to a long and mutually nurturing and reward life with your partner.No relationship is without stress, problems or frustrations. The key to success is to develop systems or routines for disarming these before they tear away at the fabric of your relationship.
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Tim Connor, CSP is an internationally renowned sales, management and leadership speaker, trainer and best selling author. Since 1981 he has given over 3500 presentations in 21 countries on a variety of sales, management, leadership and relationship topics. He is the best selling author of over 60 books including; Soft Sell, That’s Life, Peace Of Mind, 91 Challenges Managers Face Today and Your First Year In Sales. He can be reached at tim@timconnor.com, 704-895-1230 or visit his website at www.timconnor.com
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