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It was not long ago that we as parents were in the same position that are kids are in right now. We remember exactly what it was like when we first tried to understand the world around us, and find ourselves in the process. Every parent remembers what pushed our buttons, both in a positive and negative way. So doesn’t it make sense that when we approach troubled teen parenting and our teens that we do so with by holding our own experiences in mind?The teenage years are without question the most difficult for both parents and kids, so it makes sense that the parents put themselves into their children’s shoes when it comes to problem solving issues within the family. Yet, in my experience, this is exactly what most parents NEVER seem to do…and my wife and I are guilty of this as well. It wasn’t until my very own mother “beat me into shape” that I finally remembered the basics of parenting and getting through these tough years….it seems parents are always good for something! :)So what can parents do to make this huge transition in life much more civil and pleasant for both their kids and themselves?-Remember…Remember…Remember! Remember where you once were in life, and put yourself in their shoes. Instead of pushing towards the unknown based on fear and “parenting principles”, try to remember you’re hardships and experiences at this age, and put yourself in their shoes. You’re kids will catch on to this very quickly and begin to see that your simply trying to understand them first, and not jump to outrageous conclusions.-Discipline with heart, and not with an iron fist. Being strict to outrageous means or constantly commanding you’re children only leads to much larger problems down the road. You’re children need to see that your making rules and setting boundaries based on something that is justifiable, and not just based on unknown fear, this is a large part of putting yourself in their shoes. If you’ve developed a reputation of making rules that make sense and are only in place to protect you’re child and give them the ability to understand something more about life, then they WILL see and respect that. Don’t waste away you’re teenagers trust….it’s very hard to win back.-Be open and be honest with you’re teenager. This is one of the most important steps that a parent can take to ensure a close relationship with their kids, and is one that is overlooked most often. Most parents’ posses a great fear that if they reveal certain mistakes of their past or let some of their negative characteristics come to light that they’re child will get the green light to do the same. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Secrets do NOTHING but damage levels of trust and understanding, where is being open only encourages and promotes higher levels of trust. It you’re child can see that you’re giving advice based on experience their far more likely to take it to heart. Probably the greatest benefit of openness is that you’re child can share and be open with you without the fear of you going ballistic…but yet understanding.So next time you and you’re teen run into some tough problems, maybe it would be wise of you as a parent too take a look at yourself too, and remember where you once were. Regardless of what we as parents might think…we don’t know it all, and still have a lot to learn just like any other human being. We have the experience…so why not remember it?
Article Source: http://www.content.onlypunjab.com
So what is it about troubled teen parenting that we as parents usually miss? Well, come and find out from a father of two and a mother of five. We’ve teamed up to help parents in need…just like we once were. Don’t go at this alone, no one every got anywhere by themselves. Remember? :) www.squidoo.com/troubled-teen-parenting/
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