Truly False Interview-Torture 734

The office of the Secretary of State is located in a strategic corner of the Harry S. Truman building. From its windows you can see the White House, the Department of Justice and the surrounding buildings and parks. Your pride as a citizen tempts you to contemplate that view and say to yourself: “And all this is mine!”

“What are you thinking? Nice view, eh?”

Secretary Rice walked across the room and shook hands with me. I held her hand longer than necessary and looked at it with interest.

“Are you looking for blood?” She asked, surprising me because that is exactly what I was looking for.

“Well, yes Ms Secretary. We hear that this Administration has allowed torture to take place and I thought that you people with your usual devotion to this administration’s policies would be quite adept at torturing people”

“You are poorly informed. We no longer bleed our prisoners. We use high tech methods that are quicker and certainly more painful. We want the prisoners to realize at once that the game is a real one”

“Tell me about it” I asked eagerly thinking that here was my chance to turn in a real shocker of a front pager and earn that coveted corner office instead of that janitor hole.

“I’ll do better than that” she smiled and then I noticed the fangs on either side of her frontal row of healthy teeth. She pushed a button and at once two beefy agents walked in, grabbed me, cuffed me and sat me down in one of the Chester & Monroney chairs. While this was being done, I could see from a corner of my eye Secretary Rice putting on rubber gloves.

Once tied to the chair, she approached me with a syringe in her hands. She smiled again and said:

“What ever gave you the idea that we torture people?”

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Chemical engineer by training, international executive by merit and writer by addiction. Former syndicated columnist of Technology columns, has written for television and movies. His humorous articles contain fine satire and have been published in 4 languages. Quote: "Love and smiles teach tolerance; days without either are days wasted"

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