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The holidays are a lonely time for many people. Some have lost loved ones, other’s never had loved ones, and are alone by choice, while others are surrounded by the voices of many and still feel alone in the world.Most people are searching for only four or five things in life. I believe the major ones are: love, acceptance, appreciation, validation and to connect with other humans in a meaningful way. What are you searching for that you don’t have in your life? Let’s take a brief look at each of these:Love: Everyone wants to love someone and be loved by someone. It is a deep yearning in every heart, the desire for real and lasting love. Not romantic love, not egotistical love, not superficial love, not manipulative love just real from the heart unconditional love.Acceptance: I believe everyone wants to feel like they are OK just the way they are, that we don’t need to change anything, according to your expectations, to be accepted by you.Appreciation: Real appreciation, given from the heart with no agendas or expectations is one of the real needs of the human spirit.Validation: There are so many ways we invalidate people. We interrupt them, we don’t listen to them, we do all of the talking when we are with them, we don’t give them credit for having anything worthwhile to say, feel orDo, We forget to do things for them that we promised we would. The list is endless. When we invalidate others we say to them you don’t matter.The four stages of loneliness. When people don’t get one or more of the above they tend to feel alone in the world.Loneliness: A state of feeling: alone, a mental place of desperation: fear, abandonment, mistrust, rejected, unloved.Aloneness: A transition stage between loneliness and solitude. It is taking control, taking responsibility for the quality of your life, it is a time of reflection, looking back for the lessons and looking forward for the growth.Solitude: It is a time of personal growth. It is special time for you to be with you. To discover, to learn, to unlearn, to grow and to feel. You look forward to your special quiet times.Connected: This is the highest form of loneliness. It is when you have grown past the selfish needs, desires, hopes, dreams and wants of your own and have risen to a plane where your alone time is spent for the benefit of man, life, the future, the universe and the desires of your soul and heart.Where are you in the spectrum of loneliness as you move through the moments and days of your life?
Article Source: http://www.content.onlypunjab.com
Tim Connor, CSP is an internationally renowned sales, management and leadership speaker, trainer and best selling author. Since 1981 he has given over 3500 presentations in 21 countries on a variety of sales, management, leadership and relationship topics. He is the best selling author of over 60 books including; Soft Sell, That’s Life, Peace Of Mind, 91 Challenges Managers Face Today and Your First Year In Sales. He can be reached at tim@timconnor.com, 704-895-1230 or visit his website at www.timconnor.com.
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