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Are you wondering what to do in order to deal with the wrenching pain, or if what you are feeling is normal? Are you not sure who to rely on with the deep feelings you need to share? How can you find the help you need? There are many answers to these questions.To begin with, be assured there is nothing wrong with seeking help. We need each other, especially when someone we love has died. And even if you have an adequate support system, there is much about grief you may still need to learn if you had poor grief models as a child. So what can you do? Here are six sources to call upon as you see fit. It is your grief, and you need to grieve in your own individual way.1. Obviously, the first choice for assistance should be those who you feel you have the most trusting relationships with. But then, decide who the best listeners are. Who will let you express your pain, witness it, and not try to fix it? Not everyone can do that. Who will hang in there with you for the long haul? All friends and relatives have their plusses and minuses when it comes to care giving. However, there are some you will have to rely on more than others, based on how they can meet your needs.2. Early in your grief you may have no interest in reading. But at some point, it can be very useful to become aware of the wide range of normalcy in the grief process and the most used strategies for coping with loss. We all need education in these areas since very little is done in a formal way in the schools. Here are two books I recommend to all members of my support groups: The Mourning Handbook by Helen Fitzgerald and Life After Loss by Bob Deits. They are full of effective practical strategies to help your transition.3. Join a grief support group. Even though you may have an adequate support network, you may also profit greatly from a grief support group. They have trained facilitators and you will learn much from them, as well as other members in the group. And, you may also find a grief companion in the group that you can talk with between meetings. There is nothing like finding someone who is also grieving and that you relate well to. Check for support groups at your local hospital, hospice, or church and be sure to ask about the background of the facilitator.4. If you have to deal with lots of anger, guilt, depression, or other complications, it may be wise to seek the help of a professional counselor. Once again, check out their credentials (where were they trained, how long have they been practicing, and what are their specialties) or ask someone you trust to recommend someone. It is best if you can find a counselor whose primary practice is assisting those who are mourning. One trusted organization to contact for grief specialists in your area is the Association for Death Education and Counseling (go to www.adec.org).5. Obtain information and insights from the many web sites on grief. There is much useful information on the internet that can be very helpful to your grief work. Some sites have chat rooms where you can ask questions or join a discussion group. Simply do a Google search on Grief Web Sites and you will have many to choose from. Here are three that I recommend: www.GriefHealing.com, www.grow.org, and www.griefwatch.com.6. Finally, there is a wealth of information on grief and coping with loss that is free to download off the Internet, as well as the web sites mentioned above. The sites I am recommending now are seldom suggested to mourners, yet they have a wealth of materials to choose from. Simply go to the site and type “grief” or “self-improvement” into the search box and you will have many articles to choose from. Try the following: Our Articles.com or www.articlesphere.com.Remember, we all need a little help when grieving. Search for the specific answers to the questions you need answered in the emotionally demanding grief process, and let the rest go. There is nothing more important in adjusting to your loss than taking care of and treating yourself well, at this time of great change.
Article Source: http://www.content.onlypunjab.com
Dr. LaGrand is a grief counselor and the author of eight books, the most recent, the popular Love Lives On: Learning from the Extraordinary Encounters of the Bereaved. He is known world-wide for his research on the Extraordinary Experiences of the bereaved (after-death communication phenomena) and is one of the founders of Hospice of the St. Lawrence Valley, Inc. His free monthly ezine website is www.extraordinarygriefexperiences.com.
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