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When I tell people I met my husband over the Internet, one of the first things I’m asked is whether I was scared to go about the process. The answer of course, is yes. The Internet is a bit of an unknown, and the unknown is always a scary thing at first. But it only took me a few dates to realize something else about the Internet: it’s an empowering thing for women. Before I did Internet dating, I always felt a bit helpless about my dating life. It was left up to chance, or fate, or whatever else you want to call it when you know there must be someone great for out there but you just haven’t met him yet. Simply put, I went about my life as usual, and just thought that if it was meant to happen, it would. I never considered dating services of any kind, let alone Internet dating. I was leery. Was it normal to use the Internet? Are there freaks out there? Rejects? Well the reality exists that you can meet weird people anywhere. I knew in my long dating history that a number of guys I went out with were very odd indeed. Many of them I’d met through friends, and some I met in person at the grocery store, in bars, or work. So what was I going to get over the Internet? There was no momentous event that made me want to try Internet dating. In fact, the catalyst seemed to be a reoccurring one in my life. I went out with a guy for a few months that I really liked in the beginning. We hit it off; we even talked about the future. But then… something happened. We grew apart; fell out of like or lust (or whatever we were in) and things just sort of fizzled out. Upon hearing this a friend forwarded a link to me from an Internet dating site with a note saying, “Look how cute this guy is. You should check this out.” At first, I was mad at her. And then I looked at the link. She was right. The guy was very cute. Still, I wrote her back and said there was no way I was going on the Internet. No way! But then I thought about it. I had met guys in stores, at festivals, in clubs, at work, and perhaps the worst place of all, in bars. Were any of these places any better? The relationships I had forged certainly weren’t. Reluctantly, and with little expectation, I tried the Internet. I chose a site that I knew a few friends had used, and one that seemed to have been around for a few years. I took advantage of their trial basis, putting basic information on it while at the same time perusing the profiles. To my surprise, the more I viewed the site, the more normal the process seemed. The men on this site seemed cool and dorky and regular and odd and terrific. Every kind of guy I would meet on the street. But they all had one thing in common: they were looking to meet someone. Just like me. When my trial membership expired I decided to sign on for at least six months. I figured that if I was going to do this, I was going to give it my best effort. I put my picture on the site, and gave thoughtful consideration to what I wanted to say on my profile. I got some emails right away and felt more confident about approaching others. For the first time in my life, I felt perfectly comfortable contacting a guy about possible dates. Since each guy there had taken the time to fill out his profile in an effort to meet someone, it took all the guesswork and uncertainly out of the equation for both of us. I began emailing and meeting people right away. With some guys I could tell immediately that they weren’t right for me, still others I went out with several times. Regardless of what would happen, I always felt positive about the experience. I looked forward to the new “coffee” dates and if something didn’t work out with someone I dated a few times, I knew there were other guys out there. For the first time I not only felt in control of my dating life but also believed I’d find the right guy for me. While others may approach Internet dating differently, I began to schedule dates like I did other meetings. I enjoyed the process of meeting someone new, seeing what he was like, and getting to know him. I was never nervous and never scared. Unlike blind dates that my friends set me up on, I never felt obligated to stay on the date and make it work out if I knew from the start it wasn’t going to. I could schedule dates when it suited me, met where I was most comfortable, and if it didn’t work out – oh well. I went on to the next one. It was a positive, empowering thing. To all the women out there who are looking for someone great and feel a bit frightened about Internet dating, I say this. Give it a try. Be smart about the process. Meet in a public place, always. Meet only where you feel comfortable, always. Never give out your last name, address, or phone number until you feel comfortable. Listen to your gut, and if anything about the guy seems off, simply leave. Remember, you are the one in control of your life. Shouldn’t that be true for your dating life as well?
Article Source: http://www.content.onlypunjab.com
Cherie Burbach is the author of The Difference Now, A New Dish, and At the Coffee Shop. Cherie works as a consultant for PersonalsTrainer in which she helps online daters write great profiles that catch attention. For more information, please visit her website at www.thedifferencenow.com and her blog at www.thedifferencenow.blogspot.com
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