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Gerry McDonnell's Articles
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He's in the Nic
"A recently discovered tribe of Congolese pygmies have admitted knowing absolutely nothing of western civilisation, other than the fact you can't play Lampard and Gerrard in the same team." As usual, the easily offended should steer clear.
Lettuce Get It On
"Arsenal have appeared to have based their style of play on me. It's pretty to look at, but there's a real lack of penetration." As usual, the easily offended should steer clear.
The Bra Has Been Raised
'I'm often asked why I appear reluctant to share my expertise on the Scottish football scene. I can assure you it's not a result of xenophobia some of my best friends know Scottish people.' As usual, the easily offended should steer clear.
The Fruit Is On The Other Foot
Be warned: the following article contains puns so tortured; they're in violation of the Geneva Convention. As usual, the easily offended should steer clear.
Swing When You're Tinning
"For some strange reason, I can't imagine the Queen as a normal passionate woman. My reticence may be born out of respect for her position as the head of state, or it could be the fact that she’s a double-bagger." As usual, the easily offended should steer clear.
A Primate of Fear
“The result of the match is insignificant; it’s all about acceptance for our sun-fearing brothers.” As usual, the easily offended should steer clear.
In Thickness And In Elf
Whenever possible, I try to accentuate the positive.
In Thickness And In Elf
"I never thought I'd use the word 'International' in relation to Joey Barton, unless it was swiftly followed by the word 'fugitive'." As usual, the easily offended should steer clear.
I Saw Her Limping There
'Tottenham are like Paul McCartney on his wedding night, they have to get over an extremely disappointing second leg.' As usual, the easily offended should steer clear.
Pie Will Survive
This is not just a weekend FA Cup preview; it's a step towards world peace. As always, the easily offended should steer clear.
Heifery Thing Must Go
A loved-up Gerry McDonnell shares his thoughts on the weekend FA Cup action. As always, the easily offended should steer clear.
A Spanish Beer Mug
A relatively sober Gerry McDonnell shares his thoughts on the weekend Premiership action. As always, the easily offended should steer clear.
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