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Jack Wilson's Articles in Humor

  • Cry Over Spilled Caviar
    Cry Over Spilled Caviar tells about the distress of a rich person worried about the poor and his spilled caviar. It concerns also the cats who share the penthouse and deals with important matters about class.
  • Figs! - Where Are They?
    I’ve had a hankering for fresh figs lately. What is surprising is that I have not thought about fresh figs for a long time.
  • Goys-Я-Us - How to Fit In
    First you should get yourself a yarmulke already. This skull cap will indicate to your new in-laws that you respect their values and hat style preferences. Don’t wear it until you need it, just have it.

    Next; get a haircut!

    Increase your vocabulary; learn terms like gefilte fish, matzoh ball, knish, gevalt, shmendrick (you might be called one), schnorrer, shiksa, goyisha kop, Nate ‘n’ Al’s, The Borscht Belt, piroshki and more.
  • Nam-Nam Chattering-A Story with References to Dracula, Nosferatu, Bethory, Usually in Anagrams
    1. In the Chamber of The Duchesse. The Duchesse Frantouse mooned over her fate. Rapunzel had her Rumpelstiltskin
  • Rescue a Cockroach from Your Cat - Humanely
    Your house cat, following her natural feline instinct, has spotted something moving which does not seem to have permission to trespass.
  • Smokin' - How to Get Rich in Tobacco
    The best way for tobacco companies to improve their revenues is to target teen-agers. This is not because teen-agers are easily addicted...
  • The Cats are in the Convent and All's Well
    Some thoughts about my decision to put my two cats in a convent. This includes both rationale and technique in case any readers have similar thoughts.
  • Turkey-Wattle Goozle - I've Got You Under My Chin
    I woke up one morning and noticed something hanging under my chin. It was skin. It didn’t look right to me so I asked my mother about it. I was 9. Mom told me that it was just a goozle. I was not a bit relieved. I looked up goozle in the dictionary and I found this:

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