- 9/11: Where is Osama bin Laden?
I was minding my own business grilling some Omaha Steak® hamburgers on my George Foreman Grill® when my nosey neighbor, Fred, came through the back yard gate. - A Scathing Article on the Current Administration
All nations weaken with time. Sometimes the collapse is dramatic as with the Soviet Union which was predicted by my father. The present administration has created a major chink in our armor. Will we have a second Great Depression? What can we do to prevent it? - Avoid Direct Mail Gifting And Other Pyramid Schemes - Why Such Programs Fail
Here is my illustration of a current pyramid scheme. You get a letter that says, "I am an attorney blah, blah, blah. Then there is an illustration of how somebody got rich doing what the attorney said. That is giving a gift which "is legal." (Well, giving a gift is legal but a pyramid scheme is not.) I add a special instructions letter to make the program more acceptable to the disbelievers. Why all such schemes fail. - Big Fat John Diet: Jogging for Old Men
I mentioned in past Big Fat John Diet articles that I had to increase my exercise after my weight first stabilized in order to lose more weight. I decided to lose more weight and to reduce exercise-time at the same time. I would jog. - Bob Hope: Don't Shoot, It's Only Me!
I've read the book "Don't Shoot, It's Only Me!" by Bob Hope and Melville Shavelton. One thing that I gleaned was that Bob Hope, although he had to pay them out of his own pocket, hired a boodle of writers. It was impossible to accomplish what Hope did without the writers. - Christmas: What Do the Three Wise Men Mean to You
The Three Wise Men were Balthasar, Gaspar (or Casper), and Melchior. I suggest that the Tri Cities be renamed after them. If only there had been a fourth name invented by the Middle Age folks, we could name the Quad Cities after them, which would have been closer to the middle of the country. Dick Cheney was raised in Casper, Wyoming but he was not born there, nor was the city named after one of the Three Wise Men. Merry Christmas from Taylor Jones, the hack writer. - Dark Energy: The Hack Writer Reads Scientific American
I've always liked cosmology probably because my father often talked about it. The February 2007 issue of Scientific American has an article by Christopher J. Conselice entitled "The Universe's Invisible Hand." Christopher is an astronomer and Lecturer at the University of Nottingham. He was at Cal Tech until recently. Christopher explains how dark energy took control of the universe's expansion and actually increased the expansion rate. Now that I have just figured out what dark energy is and since it goes along with my origin-of-the-black-hole theory, I decided to make a fool of myself and tell the world. - Do Old People Stink?
All people stink at times. That includes old people. Here is a question (possibly from a kid) at http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=1006052640128 why do old people,s breff stink? - Exactly How Strong Is That White House Fence?
Ed Henry for CNN reported that a man carrying a suspicious package tried to jump the White House fence. A response team put on their funny hazmat suits to gather up the package. - Have A Very Boring Day
Taylor Jones the Hack Writer tells you how to have a wonderfully boring day. We can't take the excitement of March Madness all the time. Some simple exercises. - How and When the World Will End
The Mayans and Hopi Indians knew exactly when the world will end. We have the date! Here is how it will come about. - How to Lose One Pound a Year: BFJ Diet Second Follow-up
How to Lose One Pound a Year: BFJ Diet Second Follow-up
I promised that I would follow up again on the Big Fat John diet plan. I’ve dropped from 222 pounds to 199 pounds in ten weeks. I still eat normally once or twice a week, not only to stay on my diet, but to lose weight. I try to make sure I get the nutrition I need. As I said last time, at my present rate of weight loss I’ll disappear late next year. - How to Tell a Man from a Gorilla
Well, you can not always tell a man from a gorilla by looks alone, can you? Why just the other day my friend, Charlie Griffin, said while we were looking over the bikes of a motorcycle gang that visited our town, “Look at that gorilla!” - How to Tell Alligators from Crocodiles
If it’s coming toward you, it’s a crocodile! That’s one way to tell. Crocodiles have a bad reputation, especially sea-going crocodiles. - Humble Beginnings: Ideas for 2008 Presidential Candidates
The humble beginnings of many of our presidents helped to get them elected. John Edwards, the lawyer millionaire, likes that idea. Did you know that his father was a mill worker. I’ve studied some of the candidates and wrote some suggestions to help them in their presidential campaign. - Humor - Sex Helps for Old Men
Old men are interested in sex. You can be sure of that. The interest in sex starts before grade school and never stops-for old men. Things to do when Viagra is out and Enzyte doesn't work. - Humor-The Funniest Article Ever Written!
There's no ham in hamburger! No egg in eggplant. Why isn't a herd of moose a herd of meese? You know, mouse and mice? Read on! - Hunting and Fishing: I Gear Up for Ice Fishing
I decide to gear up for ice fishing and make a site visit. Big Foot not spotted this time. Needed equipment and its cost. I'm waiting for spring. - Internet Marketing: Are You Just Fishing
There are a number of ways to promote on the Internet. Some are better than others. Which ever methods you use it is best to have a niche market so that your efforts can be focused on buyers, not the general population. A niche market cuts out major competitive blocks. - It's Time to Prove Bertrand Russell Wrong: Christians Awake!
Bertrand Russell in his “Why I’m Not a Christian” essay, speeches and books states that the Christian Churches hinder rather than improve the social condition. - Jokes for Jay Leno 02: President Bush
Jokes for Jay Leno 02: President Bush
This is the second in a series to help Jay Leno find jokes for the Tonight Show. We focus on news about President Bush. - Lessons for Life: Corporate Crime; What Happened to those Boy Scouts?
Some of the most talented people in our society are in trouble with the law. Some are serving time in federal and state prisons. Some are waiting to be sentenced for crimes of which they have been convicted in courts of law. - Marilyn Monroe: The Cover-up
Did you watch the television special last night (August 1, 2006) on the death of Marilyn Monroe? Well, what did you learn? I learned a few things that I already knew. - My Presidential Slogan: I Shall Go To Korea!
I decided the reason my presidential campaign never got off the ground during the last presidential election was because I never had a slogan. For this campaign I will not make that mistake again. I took immediate action to find a slogan. - Platform Ideas: Suggestions for 2008 Presidential Candidates
As I reported earlier, I (Taylor Jones the Hack Writer) have withdrawn from the 2008 election even though I was first to enter. The reason is there is a plethora of candidates. However, I have decided to give the candidates a hand as I did in my article Presidential Slogans: Ideas for Presidential Candidates. In this article I relinquish the rights of my platform ideas to the current candidates. - Politics: Let's Stop Family Presidential Dynasties
The law restricting presidential term limits was good for the Republican Party and probably good for the country. President Roosevelt served three terms and part of a fourth term before he died during World War II. I can see the Republican's dilemma. When would they get their turn? More dangerous to our society is what I call the FPD, a Family Presidential Dynasty where the same family pumps candidates in to the presidential race. Two doing that now are the Bush and Clinton families. - Professor Hawking: Have You Gone Out of Your Mind?
According to the AP, Dr. Stephen Hawking, author of the best seller A Brief History of Time, said in Hong Kong that, to survive, the human race must move to some other star system.
He predicted that the human race will in the immediate future, geology time-wise, be wiped out by “sudden global warming, nuclear war, a genetically engineered virus or other dangers not yet thought of.” - The Blitz Is Back: Habitat For Humanity
Habitat for Humanity’s Blitz program gives new meaning to the word. Blitz to those of us that lived during World War II means “rapid destruction.” Blitz to Habitat for Humanity means “rapid construction.” Jimmy Carter swings a hammer for Habitat. So can you! - The Last Time I Saw Paris
I looked at the popular keyword searches and decided to write an article on Paris Hilton. - The Stock Market Is Not Always Nice: What To Do When the Market Plunges?
The Hack Writer gives a hint as what to do when the market drops like lead shot in a vacuum. it's bargain hunting time. Which "good" stocks are now paying a higher percentage return because of the drop in price? - Things on Television We Can Do Without
Television clutters our lives with many things we just don't need. As a public service, to simplify our lives, I've made a list of television shows and channels that we can absolutely do without. - UFO - The Kringstrot Cyphloodon
Xrystspet, against my will, takes me to the Kringstrot Cyphloodon. God is an entry and we have a chat. - UFO: Xrytspet Pregnant
I learn that Xrytspet is pregnant. She lays seven purple bouncing eggs on my garage floor and stores them in my freezer where I keep my precious Omaha Steaks®. I take off to birdwatch on the Snake River leaving Xrytspet and her brood behind. A BIG surprise when I get home. - UFO: Big Foot - Phontos the Last Chican
Phontos (Big Foot to you) and I are good friends as most of my readers already know. I've explained in my articles that Big Foot is the last of the Chicans. I review his characteristics and habits. Despite our efforts to find Big Foot a mate to guarantee the propagation of his DNA we have failed to do so. The Snake River Big Foot Association's plan to preserve Big Foot. - UFO: Big Foot Arrives Early on the Snake River
Phontos, or Big Foot, the last of the Chicans, arrived early on the Snake River this year. He knows Bobby Fischer, the chess great. Their chess scores. The best way to preserve a footprint made by Phontos. - UFO: Xrytspet Shows Me a Universe with a Yellow Glow
Xrytspet from Fanton in G10009845788899990766 dropped in to see me. I was still angry with her for saying she was pregnant just so she could steal my Omaha Steaks from the freezer in the garage. She invited me on a tour of space but I was too angry to go. I went anyway. I had no choice in the matter. - WARNING - UPS Uniforms Purchased on Ebay and OTHER HOAXES and Legends
Did you get a message that Homeland Security reported a large increase of UPS uniforms on eBay? Homeland Security says it isn't so. It's just one of many fake emails that gets by our friends and are forwarded to us. An example of an urban legend about actor Lee Marvin is given. - Ways To Overcome Stress
Stress comes into our lives daily. If the news doesn't do it, work or family problems will. Debt is a major stress generator that can cause bankruptcy or divorce. Stress can also motivate us to great achievements. Even then we must realize that we are human. We can live a very active but stress free life is we plan our daily activities properly. On yard sales and earning extra income. - What Ever Happened to the Side-Hill Troggler?
When I was a kid, we talked about such things as the Side-Hill Troggler. This species is missing in more than one way. I couldn’t find it on the Internet, but I did find the following at http://www.algebra.com/algebra/about/history/Munchers.wikipedia - What Little I Know About Submarines
Submarines fascinated us during World War II. Germany U-boats decimated convoys carrying vital war supplies to England. Our U-boats preyed on Japanese shipping, even daring to infiltrate Japanese homeland ports. World War II submarines were crewed by heroic men. Thousands on both sides died in the depths of the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans. - Why We Can't Win The War Against Terrorism
Terrorist are special interest groups often supported by governments but not recognized by those same governments. In Washington we are expert in dealing with such groups. They have powerful attorneys that bully us and bribe us but we talk things out and resolve problems - perhaps too often in the favor of the special interest groups. Unless the terrorist gain some way to communicate with governments, other than by killing innocent people and themselves, this war will rage on forever. - Why We Go To Garage Sales
Old people go to yard sales to buy stuff they can sell at their own yard sells at a loss. This presents a social structure that we all can enjoy. Oh! Yard sales are a great place to practice your Spanish. Hasta la vista - Writing 101 - Character Motivation Requires Research
If your characters are not motivated (driven), your writing will be boring to your reader. Note that I said, "reader", not "readers". The only reader will be you! - Writing 101 - Using Novel Writing Software
A beginning writer can use novel writing software as a guide to his first novel. An experienced writer can use novel writing software to keep track of his characters, places, and objects. Research can be done on the Internet as the novel comes forth and the results can be stored using the software. - Writing 101 - Writing the Keyword Article for the Internet
Writing for the Internet can give an author exposure that he or she would not otherwise obtain. Such articles can drive traffic to the author's web site. The effect can be maximized by publishers picking up the articles and republishing them on their web pages or in their ezines. Blogging and pinging article abstracts and titles can increase writer popularity. The selection of popular keywords for use in an article can attract more readers. This article should not be considered a blatant attempt to increase the writers popularity even if it is. - Writing 101: Can You Write A Joke?
Can you write a joke? Starting from an existing joke might help. We’ll give it a try with five bar jokes. Then it's your turn! - Writing 101: Getting an Idea for a Children’s Story
The hard thing about writing for children is to find an idea that would appeal to a child. If you remember that everyday things are what most children’s books are about, you will find it is easy to get started. I took a story idea from this morning’s classifieds and wrote the story in this article. You can do it too! - Writing 101: Setting And Characters - Who Did That Where?
In novels, both characterization and setting are extremely important. These items are often treated separately by those who like to tell us how we should write. However, the characters must fit into the setting in one of two ways: The character was born and raised in the setting or the character was imported into the setting (by the writer). - Writing 101: When an Article Doesn't Pan Out or Don't Kick a Dead Horse
I had two great article ideas this morning. They usually come to me in bed but they are not always great ideas. They did not pan out. What to do when your article idea flops. How to generate a new article idea.
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