- Why It's A New Life After Your Loved One Dies
The concept of a new life for many mourners is repulsive because they think it heralds forgetting the loved one. Nothing could be further from the truth. Others think a new life means starting over. Again, not true. In essence, starting your new life specifically means coping with massive change. No one can resist change; it is the one relentless eternal force. Here are four reasons why loss thrusts us into a new life. - Why Grief Lingers On and On
Grief and grieving is inevitable because we choose to love. And it can be argued that it lingers on and on because we refuse to learn to love in separation and complete a primary task: acceptance of the loss and the many changes demanded. Also, questionable beliefs and information on the grief process play leading roles. - Where to Find Help When Mourning the Death of a Loved One
Are you wondering what to do in order to deal with the wrenching pain, or if what you are feeling is normal? Are you not sure who to rely on with the deep feelings you need to share? How can you find the help you need? There are many answers to these questions. Here are six sources to call upon as you see fit. It is your grief and you need to grieve in your own individual way - What You Should Know About Differences in Mourning Styles
Have you ever considered why some people show little outward expression of emotion when a loved one dies and others seem not to be able to control the outpouring of feelings? Or have you ever made the mistake of judging that someone is not as sad as you expected the person would be? These are important questions because the answers you decide on will heavily influence the way you relate to and help the bereaved. - What To Do When Someone Dies And There Was No Time For Goodbyes
Sometimes dying people choose to die when those close to them are not present in order to spare them additional pain. Also, it is not uncommon for a person to die in a hospital or hospice setting when a family member is rushing to get there. All of the pain of these events is maximized by the thought of not being with the person at the end. - What Not to Say and What to Say to Someone Who is Mourning
Some people seem to be especially blessed with the ability to be able to connect with someone who is mourning. Others have a habit of saying the wrong things at the wrong time. The result in terms of mourning is that the mourner is often hurt more, and tends to draw away from certain people at a time when social support is a crucial need. Here is what helps and what hurts. - What Doesn't Help When Mourning the Death of a Loved One
Much is known about what exacerbates the grief process and prolongs, in some instances intensifies, pain and suffering. Learning what doesn't help when mourning can add immeasurably to the progress of your grief work. And work it is when attempting to manage the many aspects of change brought on by major loss. Here is what not to do. - Using Your Self-Talk to Cope with the Death of a Loved One
Everyone talks silently to themselves every day. It is a normal human response that possesses great power in shaping the conditions of life. Often we fail to realize how negative our self-talk becomes. Yet, regardless of the nature of outer conditions, what is said to the self when grieving is critical in whatever action is or is not taken. And what you say, will heavily influence the amount of physical and emotional pain incurred. Here is what to say. - Use A Wake-Up Ritual To Cope With The Death Of Your Loved One
How you start each day when you are mourning is indeed very important in terms of how the rest of the day unfolds. Few mourners consider instituting an informal ritual at the beginning of the day. Yet, it could help you integrate your great loss into life. Will you begin the day in immediate deep sadness, or will you choose a wake-up ritual to help you cope with the loss of your loved one? Here are six to consider. - Three Beliefs That Cause Unnecessay Suffering When Mourning
Your beliefs about death, your loved one, and the world around you explain what grief is like for you, and only you, right now. Everything you perceive about the present state of you grief and loss is filtered through what you believe to be true.Here are three limiting beliefs causing unnecessary suffering, that are frequently embraced in silence by the mourner, with an antidote for each. - The Three Most Important Questions You Can Ask Yourself When Mourning
The result of the death of a loved one means we have to develop new routines, sometimes change roles or develop new skills, and restructure our lives knowing our loved one is no longer physically present. One very effective method of doing all of this is to ask ourselves three key questions. - The Search for Meaning When A Loved One Dies
The search for meaning when a loved one dies can make the difference in how you cope with your loss and reinvest in life. . The Swiss psychiatrist, Carl Jung, the founder of analytical psychology, put it this way, "Meaning makes a great many things endurable-perhaps everything." Here are seven considerations that have provided meaning for others after the death of a loved one, and that may help you in your own search. - The Most Devastating Grief Myth Of All And How To Combat It
There are many grief myths but the myth with the longest lasting and most hurtful consequences is - you must let go of and sever all ties to the deceased. Adherents to this monster myth have usually been heavily influenced by those in their support group who have grown tired of the ongoing pain and repetition of the grief process. Here are some important considerations for the inherent need to establish a new but different relationship with the deceased. - Seven Ways to Tap Your Spiritual Traditions and Beliefs to Manage Grief
Spiritual beliefs help to bring comfort, and in many instances, a sense of relief and meaning to the loss of loved ones. Here are seven ways to plumb the depths of your beliefs to find peace and ultimately the motivation to begin the process of acceptance of the death. - Seven Things You Can Do to Help a Grieving Co-Worker
The funeral or graveside service is over and someone you work with is back on the job. Is there anything you can you do to help the person in the transition he or she is facing? Plenty. Remember, your willingness to be with anyone who is grieving, your presence alone, can be a factor in healing. Here are seven things to consider in supporting someone you work with and help him/her adjust to the loss. - Nine Ways to Cope with Loneliness after the Death of a Loved One
At various times, loneliness is the scourge of everyone from the young, old, incarcerated and homeless to children, shut-ins, and to the rich and the poor. No one is immune from its grasp. Here are nine ways to confront your loneliness and change your perception of it. - Learn the Biggest Lesson Grief and Loss Offers
The death of a loved one and the grief that follows teach many lessons. Perhaps the most important one is that pain is the sign to take a new road in life. New direction takes many forms in the grief process. Here are five to consider that others have had to deal with in their journey through grief. You too, may well have to deal with one or more of them. - How to Recognize and Grieve Your Secondary Losses
Secondary losses are a host of additional losses that are a consequence of your major loss, the death of your loved one. They include but are not limited to things like a loss of old routines, the loss of meaning, and/or the loss of companionship or a confidant. Here is what should be done to keep them from prolonging your grief. - How To Help Yourself through The Holidays When Mourning
Holidays and "the year of the firsts" are often made even worst when mourners do not assert themselves about what they can and cannot do at each of the firsts. Here are several considerations to facilitate honoring your loved one and yourself at these important times. - How to Deal with Your Anger When Mourning
Mourners can be angry at the funeral director, the medical profession, friends or neighbors, the clergy, the deceased, and even the self. Sometimes anger is fully justified. Often, it is part of a complex web of previous experiences in life. In any event, it can be dealt with. Here are eight considerations. - How to Deal With Fear When Mourning the Death of a Loved One
Whenever one is confronted with highly distressful circumstances - death, divorce, illness, terrorism, failure, loneliness - or feels personally threatened by what has unfolded, fear is the normal human reaction that is initially expressed. Often it results from lack of self-confidence and feelings of helplessness associated with the loss. But it can be managed with determination and persistence. - How To Become An Expert At Loving In Separation
Death ends a life but not a relationship. So have you ever wondered how you can keep the memory of your loved one alive? Or, how can you establish a new and stronger relationship with the person who died, now that he or she is not physically present? The answer is compelling - practice becoming an expert at loving in separation. - How Love Guarantees You Will Get Through Your Great Loss
Few counselors or therapists recommend the focus on love because it seems a rather Pollyanna approach to facing a major change in life. Yet, in my experience it is the most productive inner choice you can make. Here are three ways you can use this approach to reduce and eventually eliminate your pain. - How Gratitude Will Reduce the Pain of Grief
Gratitude is that quality or feeling of being thankful, which is life affirming and energy restoring. Affirming life and restoring energy are critical mental and physical factors when coping with the death of a loved one. Here are five ideas to think about in using gratitude as a new routine in your daily life and to help you cope with your loss. - Five Ways Toward Accepting the Death of a Loved One
There are two levels of acceptance when a loved one dies. The first, intellectual acceptance is easy to come by. We can acknowledge the death of a loved one. However, emotional acceptance is a different story- it takes a much longer time because it involves the process of withdrawing our emotional investment in the physical presence of the loved one. Here are five ways to help in accepting your great loss deep within your heart. - Five Self-Care Actions To Take When Mourning The Death Of A Loved One
Self-care at the time of loss is hardly ever on the mind of mourners. Still, awareness of the need, and minor changes in daily activities, can play a major role in averting added physical and emotional distress. Here are five self-care actions to take balance the stress of grieving. - Five Myths Of Grief That Lead To Unnecessary Suffering
Grief is a natural response to the loss of something valued. Myths are falsehoods parading as gospel truths. Combined they lead to much excessive emotional and physical pain when mourning. However, you can reject myth and replace it with your version of the truth about grief. - Coping With the Death of a Loved One: The Least Used Resource
Unknown to the general public as well as the mass media, millions of people mourning the death of a loved one have an experience in which they are convinced they have received a spontaneous sign or message from the deceased or a divine being. The experience brings comfort, peace, and often new insights about life and death. Despite skeptical critics. the experience holds great potential for growth, motivation to accept change, and assist the mourner in the work of grief. - Ask For A Visitation Dream When You Are Mourning
Millions of people who were mourning the death of a loved one have reported receiving a sign or a message from their deceased loved one or a divine being. These Extraordinary Experiences (EEs) occur at various times after the death. All of these contacts provide great comfort and meaning to survivors. One of the most common of all EEs are visitation dreams. Here is a common approach for seeking a visitation dream used by many mourners.
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